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Shifting Awareness

One of the biggest writing challenges I have is that I use my iPhone. This assistive device is filled with lots of distractions, including unread emails, FaceBook, weather forecasts, alarms and iCal appointment alerts. I must make a note to discuss strategies with Francesca on how to avoid them.

Perhaps the new Attention & Emotional Regulation research study I joined yesterday at NYU Langone will improve my attention enough to capture my national bestselling memoir. Now, I’ll move along to write what was my original intention four subway stops ago…

SHOOT! I somehow lost the first draft. After making sure it wasn’t in the iPad’s Google draft folder, I’ll start again before my next doctor’s appointment. Only, will there be enough battery charge to last?

Recently a powerful shift occurred in my relationship with Augustus, when we attended my PP’s (Prayer Partner’s) wedding last week in Pensacola Beach, FL. While boarding our flight, the attendant made an announcement that anyone who needed extra time boarding could do so, including mothers and the disabled. He turned to me and suggested we try to board, so I flashed my Medicare and disabilty MetroCard cards and we were admitted. BEFORE first class! He flashed a big grin as we were the third couple walking down the jetway.

I had a deep-seated fear that I was a burden for this man whom I love deeply, That maybe I am hard work to date, or a hassle to take care of. This is a fear shared by a few close friends that brain injuries. The husband of one of them shared “it is my privilege and honor to support the woman I love.” Augustus echoed his sentiments and said he enjoyed helping to take care of me. He says he’s doing things that he wouldn’t otherwise be involved with.

I’ve discussed this fear with Dr. Bronson several times in the past. She used a most effective strategy the last time by parroting back the exact words I had just used. “Let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly, you’re worried you are a burden or a hassle for Augustus?” I realized how silly that fear was when I heard it spoken in her voice.

I was burdening myself. Now I will head into this Valentine’s Day with less trepidation and more excitement!

Posted in Blog, Uncategorized on February 9, 2016.

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