Living In A Politically-Divided Yet Peaceful Home
I reside in one of the seven battleground states that could swing the 2024 presidential election. I waited with dozens of strangers in a long line today where I voted early in person at the Enka-Candler Library. As I walked to the back of a very long line, I thanked everyone for patiently waiting to cast their votes. Other than the battle for parking, it was a surprisingly peaceful experience. I made sure to brightly shine a smile toward every pair of eyes who met mine. By the time I emerged from the polling station, the line was longer than when I stepped into it. Thank you, my fellow Americans! Thank you.
A countdown clock says there are 12 days until the 2024 presidential election, which will hopefully be the same day as the next president is announced! I have never before received so many unsolicited fundraising text messages and emails, and I even received a text message right after I cast my vote. I hope all these text messages are making a difference as they fill our inboxes.
I live in a politically divided home, and I am often asked “How do you do it?” Sometimes I really don’t know the answer. Ours is not a household where voices are raised, corrections are made, or where unsolicited criticisms are doled out. My husband and I love one another deeply and we realize that no level of convincing or negotiating will change either of our strong minds. During the 2020 presidential election, I was careful to evacuate my apartment on a debate night to allow my husband and his visiting parents unrestricted control over the television remote. I escaped to a like-minded friend’s condo to watch the same debate with a measure of peaceful agreement and a great glass of wine.
As the last election approached, I raised concerns about our political differences to my therapist who suggested that my husband and I consider meeting with a couple’s counselor which we did for one session. She gave us a homework assignment, which we both rolled our eyes over. Not to sound so dismissive, we agreed to save our money and proceed with caution.
One helpful piece of advice that my therapist did offer was to “stop poking the bear“, meaning do not discuss topics that I know will raise my husband‘s blood pressure and voice. Back then, like now, I feel as if I am living harmoniously day-to-day near the Great Wall of China. We carefully monitor all of our communications, so no evidence of political ideology is heard on either of our tongues. Every now and then, I occasionally fail to recall this healthy boundary. After listening to a particularly disturbing podcast, I’ll forget the unspoken rule and find myself impulsively recounting what I just heard. This is never a good idea. Poke. I’ve just poked the bear and choose not to blame him for his explosive response. We both can get passionate about our political stances.
In my front yard, both political candidates are proudly displayed. When my husband returned home and saw my sign, he gagged in disgust, until I invited him to display his own (the only caveat being that it could not be larger than mine). So, there they are, side-by-side. My husband overheard a little boy walking by with his mother who noticed both party signs in our yard. I’d liked to have been a fly on their wall to hear the conversation that was inspired. I also wonder how many of our guests’ eyebrows have been raised as they check into our AirBnB.
Neither of us are taking the easy way out by only hanging out with fellow tribesmen or people who share our own political opinions. I like to challenge myself by hanging out with people who have differing points of view than me. I believe this major difference encourages major growth. Sometimes growth can be uncomfortable, but I am confident and have faith that both sides of the aisle can come together to accomplish greater things than any one party can achieve alone. Perhaps not as harmoniously as my marriage, but this American will continue to dream that people with opposing views can work together for the greater good of our country.
Our front yard