Despite being a damp and gray morning here in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I still sang with great enthusiasm “Oh what a beautiful morning” on our wraparound porch to any neighbor who might have been listening.   

This 1943 tune by Rodgers & Hammerstein from the musical Oklahoma has become a strategy I use to help lift myself up whenever I am feeling in a funk.  It is interesting because this habit came into my life around the same time Augustus did.  He said his mother used to sing this song all the time when he was a boy, and this was all the motivation I needed to make it a daily anthem. 

On Election Day, Augustus and I registered with the Braver Angels organization as Election Day Pairs.  Their mission is to bring Americans together to bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic.  I learned about this worthy organization from Rev. Darlene at Unity of the Blue Ridge.  Braver Angels is a New York-based 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to political depolarization.  The organization runs workshops, debates, and other events were “red” (conservative) and “blue” (liberal) participants attempt to better understand one another’s positions and discover their shared values.   

Spending time the night before making our Braver Angels poster felt therapeutic, and somehow seemed to smooth out any jagged edges in our differences.  We headed to our local polling station with our handmade poster and dressed the part of being a politically divided pair.  We didn't do it on purpose, but our red and blue raincoats happened to match our parties.  We only saw a few folks, the first happened to be a local friend, then we treated ourselves to lunch at our favorite diner.  

Later that evening, I curled up in the guest bed watching my phone.  Somehow, I had signed up to receive live updates and as the polls continued to close, I prayed this was a “red mirage” and slipped into prayer that my candidate would prevail.  I decided to sleep separately from my husband who watched the polls close in the theater downstairs.  My heart was racing, and I tried to lengthen my short breaths.  At that point, I was still faithful that history was about to be made.  With that last bit of confidence, I broke from the trance of watching my phone and plugged it in for its overnight charge.   

With the doubt that was being spread throughout the election process, I figured the results would take a few days to finalize.  But oh no.  I opened my eyes Wednesday mornings, reached for the phone, and was devastated.  Heartbroken.  So shocked, that I took a screen grab.  “Updated 52 seconds ago, Top Story: Trump Wins the Presidency.”  I let the sadness wash over me, and I laid there numb for a moment longer.  Then I climbed into the shower and sobbed.  Loudly.  I didn't care if my husband could hear me, I was grieving.

When our paths did finally cross, he was very tender.  Gentle.  Soft spoken.  Many people are struggling to find a way to move forward with our loved ones who voted differently than we did.  I haven't figured out how to do that yet, but I am not stuck. 

I obviously still love my husband tremendously, that has not changed with the election results.  I am putting one foot before the other.  I am leaning into my daily routines, including meditating, playing Lumosity brain games, having coffee on the porch, writing this blog, and singing my daily anthem.  In the days immediately after the election, I was not sure whether I would be able to perform my morning ritual of singing “Oh What A Beautiful Morning“ again, but here we are ten days later, and the song has returned to my heart.  I have no idea what comes next, our country feels more divided than ever.  But I am convinced we can figure this out together.   

Early in the morning, while I was still in the shower crying, Mom sent a text to my husband and I that felt quite patronizing.  “So, how is the climate in your house?”  Augustus responded, “Very good, I believe” (he even included a smiley face).  It may be hard for a lot of people to understand, but we are moving forward at a surprisingly peaceful pace, and I have been able to discuss the challenging outcome with friends who understand that our marriage is politically divided. 

There have not been any deep conversations or official "processing", because I do not feel like these are needed as of right now.  I am astonished by how easy this has felt so far, and I do not want to create a big deal where one does not belong.  Reports from the non-fake news say that divorce rates have spiked after each of the past two elections and many friendships have ended, so my husband and I are outliers.   

I am aware that the next four years will not be a repeat of Trump’s first four years, because he now also has the Senate, House, and the Supreme Court.  For this (t)reason, I am not optimistic that our marriage’s peace will continue to survive the onslaught of revenge that Trump has in-store. My husband believes that “revenge” may be “justice”.  I just remind myself that we have endured the “changing of the guards” in the past, and that we will experience many more elections in the future.  Hopefully.  I am confident that I can host a future Braver Angels event to somehow help me move forward.  I’d like to get closer to the political divide in order to help heal it so that we and other couples like us, can continue to hold America together because I believe we are less divided than we have been told.